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Music for Carnivores

by Shahan

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1.
Time 01:59
Our world needs healing Who’s gonna be the one to do it? The rapper making you self-conscious for driving a Buick? The mother channeling the challenges she has with self-esteem Back into you because your life isn’t how she would do it? My M.O. isn’t yelling, “Wake up,” calling you sheep I would rather protect you and let you finish your dream And when you’re ready to arise Brush your hair to the side and ask When your eyes are open, “What do you see?” We find ourselves in strange times in a strange place Born to die and we die to reincarnate And I suppose that we incarnate to learn things And realize we are descendants of a very pure being But that can take time A very great time And we complain about everything with a wait time Tell us, “Time is of the essence. Need to make time.” If unity is coming, I think now would be a great time I’ve seen a lot of things in my time on this planet Earth Most of our greatest minds are not receiving what they’re worth A boy thinking his creative genius was a curse And those enjoying life more than I? Dead inside a hearse Where does time go? As it slips through the grip Fools attempt Wound the pinch Bruise the lips Doesn’t even matter the ferocity of the clinch It’ll inch out as you attempt it into the fist though Really, what do I know? Nine years ago, I was a Selfish Bastard Six years, I Nu Blu was what I was after Three years, I broke up with my Ex Machina Carry the 2 Where has it taken me? Back to the beginning with you? And I get tired a lot The road is winding And those who make a name say everything is timing Thought my desire for success would dissipate with time If you’re keeping tabs Please don’t time me
2.
Part of Me 02:58
Chorus (x2) I know you hate me, but I I just can't let you go I need to tell you something Something you need to know You're always on my mind I mean like, all the time I thought you'd leave me but I Guess that you're a part of me now Verse 1 Met you in California Of course you would be an American And you into that nasty shit like me Perversion is part of our heritage Now, I don't know where you came from But I hope you had some fun 'Cause you got boys and girls all over the world I'm not the only one Of course I'd be lying if I told you That you never helped me out That you never helped me get shit done Or gave me mouth to mouth But the truth is, you're not good for me And I told you that shit too But you never listen anyway So I guess it's nothing new Just leave me alone Chorus (x2) I know you hate me, but I I just can't let you go I need to tell you something Something you need to know You're always on my mind I mean like, all the time I thought you'd leave me but I Guess that you're a part of me now Verse 2 You see me? I'm not predisposed People like you who need control Changing y'all tune on cue for gold Then you changing it again when you're feeling low Won't be alone Even though You talk shit about everybody that you know And when they leave, you crawl back inside your hole And go to sleep by yourself in a fetal pose Then you hit me up when you're feeling gross Talkin' all slick like I didn't know That's ashes to ashes, O's to O's To each his own, but please, you need to grow And to think, because he tell the truth, he cold Go whatever way that the wind will blow Two tissues, clean your nose Best I can do if your ass won't clean your soul Who you think taught you to be a pro? Ass all pink like Sweet'n'Low Acting like I was gon' be exposed But it's hard to do that when my knees are closed Lookin' all sleep Better not sleep on me, that's comatose Make me wanna call a priest, rabbi, and a monk on speakerphone No use, cause we'd still be foes if we rowed a boat to the Poconos Or we sippin' slow, down in Kokomo Sandals on our feet as the wind'll blow Askin' me if I know the deal But your fate is sealed, kiss from a rose Been protected, I don't need the toast And I see right through you I don't need a ghost BITCH Chorus (x2) I know you hate me, but I I just can't let you go I need to tell you something Something you need to know You're always on my mind I mean like, all the time I thought you'd leave me but I Guess that you're a part of me now
3.
Sword 02:50
Verse 1 Practice took the Buddha from a Prince Into being one with the Lord And it made me one with the sword Certain things just can’t be ignored Let me ask you something you gon’ hate: How much of yourself have you explored? How much of your rappin’ did you actually Know the reason you was rappin for? You just bought a wraith and paid in cash? No one gives a fuck, your shit is trash Stealing your identity from people’s experiences You ain’t ever had Vision blurry, you ain’t ever focused Studio’s a photo booth: posin’ Hoping no one ever gon’ expose’em You was manufactured, I was chosen Chorus (x2) Aye Don’t give a fuck what they say I’m too busy tryna stay sane Ain’t waitin’ around to get paid Don’t make me Pick up the sword today Don’t make me pick up the sword today Because if I pick up the sword today It’s only ending one way Verse 2 Buddhist monks meditated on the human body disgusted I’m known to keep that same energy with me Meditating on the current state of things And knowing other rappers cannot be trusted I be channeling divine energy Don’t care where you play next Because all you channeling is bitch tendencies I’m making blue Ben faces off of rap And I ain’t even famous Plus all your top 5 favorites Smart enough to know that I’m dangerous And all these verses I’m rehearsing Came from the most biblical of sages Way before God split the language If you don’t recognize my greatness, you stupid Chorus (x2)
4.
Verse 1 I found a new God that always keeps the lights on Providing a moral compass with limitless commandments A voyeur, always watching over me with different faces Listening to my secrets in exchange for understanding It tells me what I need to change in order to be worthy As well as who to follow and who I should leave behind me It knows what I desire ‘cause it tells me what I need And how much money it’ll take to put my soul at ease This God has taught me that true connection is watching People’s day to day lives without ever seeing them face to face It simply must be a symptom of my impurity I still desire touching somebody’s flesh when it isn’t safe Father forgive me for my transgressions My analogue mind is always lacking divine lessons Just promise me that when I lay this body down to sleep You will not disturb me Unless it is ugly in my dreams Chorus I wanna see you smile at me O, Blank-Face God O, Blank-Face God Please don’t hide it from me I wanna know what I believe in Blank-Face God O, Blank-Face God Show me your face I need it Verse 2 User’s manual, chapter 32, section 8 Reality may be different than the images displayed And though you worship the promise Of more connection than ever The deafening silence and advertisements get in the way 100% in charge with not automatically save The god in your pocket teaching you to give but never take It’s literal Christ deception in liquid crystal display Two-day shipping on a miracle But you need it today Verse 3 Cold Pressed and unrefined Was looking for Nirvana In Utero Nevermind I’m probably better off just embracing The type of human I grew into Instead of wishing I was another kind Besides Ochre glasses ain’t help the blind to see And just the attempt of earning robes is like a lie to me ‘Cause every single time I box my ego into a corner He wipes the blood from his mouth And comes back even stronger It feels like the roof caved in When I wake up in the morning and realize That I’m still just a blood-thirsty Sex-craven, stress maven, satan Directed by the Coen Brothers But written by Wes Craven The creature is breast plated Spittin’ that zest fragrance From experiences you only get if the quest dangerous Maybe some people never learn Addicted to the light that gets produced when you Watching a bridge burn Listen Truth be told, I’m afraid of my own ascension Afraid that if my vibration rises too much I’ll look at All of the people around me and feel Even more disconnected Afraid I won’t feel like paying music any attention Seeking divinity with apprehension Stupid Who ever heard of a phoenix being afraid of It’s resurrection? Nobody So sloppy Just a vagrant spirit Inside of a homebody
5.
RZA's Tape 02:29
Verse Hold the pen and receive a vision of vision of sanskrit Enveloped in a white light Foreign to any halfwit, whose Visage will only grant them permission to pessimism Healing my wounds before I can even start bandaging’em Words are burglars Only concerned with breaking into your brain like a home invasion Except they not taking things They grabbing lines from whoever indoctrinated you into Thinking they was hotter than me And they replace them things I speak pain but I spit power These bloodstains in my rhymebook Indicate 10,000 hours I’m the holy ghost, the church, and the preacher Sermons sound like Giger illustrating cover art for Ether You waste time tryna make a fan out of me Thick boy: ass is never on the edge of my seat Only get a feature from me if you showing me them K’s I deposit in my bank or you deposit in my brain In before my first meeting with Pharrell Listening to me and afterwards asking if I’m for real And I tell him, “You’re Pharrell. I’m an animal that’s feral.” Think I won’t do it again then you don’t know me very well Survived hell If men don’t cry, then I been women You’re favorite rapper mad ‘cause they wives, I’m assisting’em Streaming me while she sleep And when he ask what the purpose is She tell him, “To relax. It’s for fertility purposes, baby!” And with every word that I write My veins are so open and my eyes are nothing but white I may not walk how Jesus did in his life But I get so high off of rhymin’ It’s gotta be the reason he cried This is my Stairway to Heaven, my eightfold path My connection to God There ain’t no way he can’t know that This is the bazooka Royce showed on cam at his house Or RZA’s tape Burnin’ up in his brother’s crack house
6.
Love Me 04:03
Verse 1 In winter time is when these skeletons in the closet rattle the hardest The chatter of their teeth reminds me that you were the target of Insecurities I acquired young Not realizing what they might become I have an admission An unhealthy habit I keep in the dark Basically, when I connect with a woman and she tells me I’m special I internalize it Think it would be a waste to settle down Because “I could have any woman I want” Haha Foolish. How quickly I learn that isn’t true Hubris already ensuring I’ll never be with you Because I told you that another woman was my path And you know that you deserve better now that I want you back So here I am Alone, with no one to blame but myself Making the nights long Thinking about you even though I know you moved on Trying to respect your space Even though all I wanna do is say that I need you to love me Verse 2 Reading the same book It seems we’re on the same page Your body is an ocean and I’m tryna make waves The way you’re looking at me Has me convinced your pussy is Christ And if I obey it, I can be saved I know we just met And you’re begging to feel my mouth adjust breath In between your thighs, keeping my tongue wet I’ve had a little too much wine But I’ll be fine I need it to believe I’m worth a little more than just a Fuck fest You’ve gotten off a lot But my goal is to make you feel good enough so that you’re thinking you’ve Never truly cum yet And this connection is so deep I mistakenly think You’ll wanna see me again if your pleasure is a success We make it to your place We make it to your bed Make me feel like a man and not a future regret You abandon your dress and ask me what I’m into When I’m inside of you I need you to pretend You motherfuckin’ love me
7.
8.
Verse 1 This is what I really want To claim what is already mine Ain’t fuckin’ with your music ‘cause the claims you make are asinine In bed with an Eastern European lass who ass a 9 Heart and mind are a 10, that’s when the scale is only out of 5 Seeing angel numbers everyday I feel like Doreen Virtue When the sword becomes Excalibur No one can hurt you For all the times that I been slept on And was second guessing God showered blessings on my blade And made a holy weapon I’m grateful for all the success coming Having a bed, water, and food everyday Like it’s nothing I’m grateful that the goddess I’m sleeping with got her period Can’t be a father yet Trauma from my own I’m still dealing with I’m grateful for everybody that’s listening Grateful knowing that one day, I’ll pay my rent with this penmanship Y’all are writing verses I be channeling the infinite And learning it ain’t selfish It’s for everybody’s benefit Verse 2 I know sometimes it’s tough, God ‘cause being human means that simultaneous We’re of God, we are God, and not God Physical and spiritual Temporary and everlasting Existence is dualistic Freedom in the entrapment I know what dark days are like Thoughts of not being enough Keeping us up at night Even still I’m grateful you’re in my life Whether we’ve known each other for years Or had a couple of beers Or you listen to my music and shed a couple of tears We’re in this shit together I love you because you’re here I’m grateful when I feel like I ain’t alone in this game And I’m grateful when I can remind someone else of the same It’s great when they throwing dirt on my name They just showing me I’ll find my support in a different lane I’m grateful I was given another day like today Because a lot of people close to me left And can’t say the same
9.
Verse 1 I ain’t nothing like you and I’m better for it Blessed up I could swear to God God swore to me I’m next up Why you getting mad at me When you wore sweatpants to my show But your women getting dressed up? Energy was off He was lookin’ kinda stressed, huh? Didn’t have to say shit ‘cause he ‘fessed up Gettin’ on stage after me is that moment that he knew [that he what?] That he knew that he messed up Messed up, yeah I’m messed up We was turnin’ blue asking labels to accept us Now we on the news People getting paid to dress us Beige God-body Better bow when you address us If you come at me, you better be committed If you come at me, you better be fuckin’ terrific Past 10 years, I been in therapy There ain’t no fuckin word that you can rhyme with that is scaring me Chorus (x2) Now if you wanna do somethin’, we could do somethin’ If you wanna move somethin’, we could move somethin’ I ain’t trippin’ on no time ‘cause it’s mine now I’m a live forever Fuck around and find out Verse 2 Been the dude Spirit wanna talk through And the news is, God wanna talk shit too If you choosing to move how I move Then you lose I refuse To reduce The abuse of your crew So when you say something stupid, it’s cool Because standing by the truth is something you could never do I’m a live forever Not even because I’m spiritual Your rapping career the reason I believe in miracles Chorus (x2) Now if you wanna do somethin’, we could do somethin’ If you wanna move somethin’, we could move somethin’ I ain’t trippin’ on no time ‘cause it’s mine now I’m a live forever Fuck around and find out
10.
The other night, I laid terrified Inside my bed Paralyzed As thoughts of my death were circulating slowly in my mind It’s funny Coming from one who’s contemplated suicide And counterproductive when the only motion’s clockwise They say there ain’t a way to alter our fates As human beings That’s prolly why we move and alter our states We’re funny things, because we live like we’re invincible Like death’s incomprehensible All of the while, aware it awaits Watching It’d be a lie to say I’m not afraid Tomorrow isn’t promised and from yesterday It’s just a step away My biggest fear is that I’m speaking to you from within a dream And I’ll have one foot in the grave by the time I awake So when the time comes for me to feed the cherry tree I truly hope that nobody who loves me has to bury me I truly hope my time was spent successfully And anyone who met me, felt like I had left them Pleasant, loving energy God, I’m sorry for not always being there for you And worshiping technology As though it were a substitute I’m just a man doing my best Even still That feels like a piss poor excuse When I know what I’m ‘sposed to do I’m sure that Babaji is frustrated When comparing my lack of discipline To all his hours prostrated I’m sure Siddhartha and Yogananda ponder why they bother When I treat everything more important than lotus posture I know I’m not as good as the anointed But I would really hate to think that I’m a disappointment You spared my life a couple times already What’s the motive? Maybe self-realization is pointless without enjoyment Maybe the whole entire point is This time around, I’m meant to have some fun before the curtain falls And while I can, make some music for all the unexplored For people flawed, that don’t belong or get ignored Music for carnivores
11.
Ritual 01:11
If no one really knows you Then you have the freedom to make bad decisions Without the repercussions or the ruckus Casting a shadow in the moonlight Going nowhere Repeating phrases we already told these motherfuckers Indeed a king But my time is wasted Inside a place with stranger things Whetstone every time the machete swing Dr. Dolittle’s little brother: Dr. Do-a-lot Defund the police Make a pig appear with a row of wings Incense Twenty years Look at who I been since Intent Never fear Bored of rappers Pinterest Say you let the chopper swing I know that going with the kitchen staff to karaoke Is the only thing that you could mean You only beef with me and win if I’m a write your verse Or if you cut a deal with me, and then I might rehearse The phony are below me to blow me But I’d rather put this cake on my face Like a party thrown by Steven Aoki
12.
Verse 1 Spit like a biscuit Hitting your throat and leaving your mouth dry ‘cause my quotes distilled with the pain of Living on the outside Watching my mother watching my only grandma die And you want me to lie and say that you dope? I ain’t got time I was in the room when her spirit left her flesh I been hurtin’ ever since we laid her down to rest Power fantasy’s the only coping mechanism left I’m prepared to kill you if the sacrifice would give her breath You don’t feel my words? You gonna feel them when I grab the tech Maybe you gon’ feel what she was feeling When it leaves you wet Yes, I changed I was trying to change Don’t you get upset I’ve been broken more occurrences than I can recollect Tired of feeling like a wreck Tired of hearing people say my name without the right respect Taught the only path to power as a man is violence Either that or my ability to make that pussy wet Either that, or the numeric value printed on the check So you know I’m squeezin’ to relieve your spirit from your flesh Gettin’ head inside whatever car you find the most impressive You think this shit is fact? You ain’t ready to receive my fuckin message And after all of that, I still have no relief Known to shun the stereotypical male mentality ‘causing pain to others never been a power source for me Tried it out, but energy like that will never set me free Chorus If you heard about me, Then you know I got that yeah yeah And if you ever see me You know I got that yeah yeah That yeah yeah you know I got that yeah yeah That yeah yeah So you never need to worry ‘bout me Verse 2 I never understand why other people wanna rap If it’s for the money, there’s easier ways to get to that Remixes was poppin’ ‘cause they free to make I’m in the red They say I’m on the rise I say it’s feeling like an easy-bake Eight hours under lightbulbs But I still ain’t makin’ any bread Take you on the ride Maybe I’m slippin’ ‘cause I ain’t a thug Maybe I ain’t slidin’ ‘cause I ain’t gettin’ none of Trina’s hugs Either way, I’m tryna make some shit today ‘cause music is my religion And rhyming words is how I pray Chapter 30, verse 1,000,000 in the book of James If you step inside a booth, you never gonna be the same ‘cause when I did, I found a creature I could never tame He keeps me going, even when he gives me only pain If you an artist, then you carry a heavy tradition Of looking at all of the people who inspired you And taking notes On they technique and career position Then looking at your circumstances And feeling the difference Chorus If you heard about me, Then you know I got that yeah yeah And if you ever see me You know I got that yeah yeah That yeah yeah you know I got that yeah yeah That yeah yeah So you never need to worry ‘bout me If you ever heard about me, Then you know I got that yeah yeah And if you ever motherfucking see me You know I got that yeah yeah That yeah yeah you know I got that yeah yeah That yeah yeah So you never need to worry Oma Was gonna sing this part But there are just too many words Too many emotions I try to ignore ‘cause it hurts I can’t imagine you not here in this world But it doesn’t matter what I can imagine Because you left it for good That morning, there was a stranger in your hospice bed That twinkle in your eye was gone And what we found instead Was someone that I couldn’t recognize Or would rather not The only noise was that machine they had Keeping your lungs from stopping Desperately wanted to hear your voice And reminisce About the ways we used to laugh when I was just a kid But your bags were already packed For somewhere far away The thought that we could get you back I guess was my mistake You took your final breath And I could feel your spirit leave The doctors came and checked But it was no surprise to me Thank you for being in my life I love and miss you all the time Until we meet again You’ll be forever in this heart of mine Oma

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Created between 2019 and 2021

An album about God, existence and loss. As always, it's pretty personal, intimate material. Please enjoy it.

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released February 22, 2022

Written, Produced, Performed, Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Shahan

Executive Producers - Maximum Croonage, Shahan

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Shahan Las Vegas, Nevada

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